


Breaking Free

by ToxicAngel13



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: FIx It, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Madison Friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14448846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicAngel13/pseuds/ToxicAngel13
Summary: Two swings of a hammer could have ended it all, Nick thought it had. But Luck was finally with him, and he wasn't going to take the chance it would happen again.





	1. Two Strikes

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I know I have so many other works that need attending to, but in my free time lately (as I binged watched Fear) I came to a situation I couldn't just leave alone. And the Plunnie bit me hard. I've been writing on this while working on my other stories, I promise :P

        Nick fought against the hands that were suddenly holding him back as he saw something snap in his mother. He’d seen her hold on that darker part of herself slipping more and more lately, but as she swung the hammer at Troy’s head, the cool metal connecting with flesh and bone like it meant nothing, knocking the owner of the said flesh to his knees, he knew that hold would never be the same again. She prepared herself for a second hit as Nick wailed for her to stop, and Troy looked at her with confused betrayed eyes. Nick hit, bit and clawed his way free, but the hammer connected again, and Troy’s body tumbled down the hill of dirt, his head bloody and broken looking. He was dead.. Troy was dead. And Madison had killed him for no reason other then he said he would do it all again. Troy who had wanted to warn these people… Troy who could be living back at the Bazaar with him if he hadn’t cared about what happened. If only he hadn’t made Nick see his mother again.

         Madison’s stammered explanations fell on deaf ears as Nick scrambled down the pile of dirt, coming to rest by the too still body. He hesitated touching Troy, not because he was afraid that the other man would reanimate and attack, but because if he touched him… If he confirmed that Troy wasn’t breathing. Then he couldn’t pretend that maybe… Maybe there was a chance that he was just unconscious. That Madison (Not his mother… Never his mother again after what she had just done) hadn’t managed to kill him. He heard dirt shifting and his eyes shot up to see Madison kneeling.

       “He would have killed you.” She pleaded as he finally heard her instead of just staring at Troy’s body in shock. He shook his head, the tears that had been building finally falling , denying her weak excuse. He wouldn’t have killed him, Troy had had too many chances to do him in- if he was going to kill Nick, then Nick would be dead. He looked away from Madison, before letting himself look at Troy once more, and he felt his world crumble just as sure as this dam would be as soon as those charges went off. She had killed his best friend and then had the audacity to claim she did it it for his sake. She was trying to put his death on him, like she had done so many other things in his life, and he could accept that and self destruct or he could leave. Break the cycle, and put her blaming him into the past while he got Troy out of this place.

        He was so still that it hurt even without remembering seeing him murdered by Madison, while he was being held back from helping the other man. He couldn’t leave him here. Not with the Dam set to be destroyed. Madison had bashed his head in, so the other man wouldn’t (Shouldn’t) reanimate. He wedged an arm under Troy’s Shoulders, then his legs, before struggling to stand, a plan forming in his head to get away. To let his mother and her people deal with whatever shit storm they had created while he got the hell out of here. The ugly wound that his mother had carelessly created coming to rest on Nick’s shoulder as Troy’s head lolled. Nick’s eyes connected with Madison’s.

        “I’m taking him out of here. Taking him home, I won’t let this be his watery grave just because you killed him here. He didn’t deserve this Madison. I never wanted to see you again… He was the one who wanted to warn you about the attack. You make everything good in this world rot away in the end… he was changing. Changing into a better person and you took that from him, from me.” He chocked out, she stayed silent though his rant, and didn’t try to help him as he struggled up the dirt with his burden. Instead she snorted, looking at him like he was an incredibly stupid child.

       “No one ever changes. They just learn to fake it in ways people can pretend that they have. That boy was a psycho. You saw what he did at the boarder... To his friend. He would have killed you eventually and I couldn't let that happen” she admonished him. He spared her one last look as he reached the top, his arm legs and back burning already, and there was still a long way to go before he got Troy out of here. But he wouldn’t leave Troy behind. Not ever. He hadn’t left him in the shoot out alone, had tried his best to talk him down so this shouldn’t be a surprise.

         “Then what does that say about you Madison… the girl who took her father’s life. You live on killing, manipulating and lying. You’re going to outlive us all because in the end, no matter the justification you hold onto, everything is about you. The Ranch… it had it’s problems, but you decided to make it yours that first night.” He shot back, before forcing himself to move and not stumbled as he left the room, ignoring the stunned silence that he’d left behind him. He had to keep going, in case his mother decided to blow that c4, or tried to stop him..

        It wasn’t until he was almost to the van’s that he felt it. He’d stumbled as his body decided that it was close to having had enough, and jarred Troy’s body and making his head turn further towards Nick’s neck. Shallow puffs of air started hitting his skin at the move. He almost stumbled, almost dropped the body he had labored to get out here- but he managed to stay steady and keep a hold of him. Whether the air was real or Nick’s imagination it had to wait. He needed to get Troy to one of those Van’s and hot wire it before anyone knew what was going on. He reaches the vans just in time for the ground to rumble and quake, and had to brace his back on one, to keep from loosing his footing. A pained moan tore from the body he was cradling at the rough movement and Nick’s eyes shot down to the face that he had been steadily refusing to look at. Pain was etched across it.

       “Shit. I’ve got you man, she’s not going to get the chance to finish you off, I swear.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to the clammy forehead, his heart pounding as he realized that Madison hadn’t killed him. Troy, the stubborn bastard, was clinging onto life still. But Nick knew he had to get the other man to some sort of medical help. The Bazaar was no use… If he showed up there with Troy in this condition they would just try to put him down rather then offer any sort of hope. He pushed himself away from the van’s side, before awkwardly grasping at the side door handle, refusing to put Troy down even for the few moments it would take to hands and get the door open easier. Maneuvering himself into the Van with is arms full of 120+ pounds of dead weight wasn’t the best experience, but given the chaos in the dam, he knew he had to get moving quickly before someone came out looking to escape and found them. He couldn’t fight someone off and protect Troy.

         He laid Troy out on the long back seat as gently as he could manage, before using the various seat buckles to secure him. He had head trauma, and before, moving him like this would had never happened, not until paramedics arrived and did their thing. The best Nick could do was make sure that he didn’t bounce too much... and if he turned he wouldn’t sit up and take a chunk out of Nick. One of the previous owners of the van had left a jacket and a change of clothes in a bag in the van. Nick balled up the various articles, and places then around Troy’s head, keeping it in place. After that was done he shut the door, before running to the driver’s side. He didn’t have a lot of experience driving, but he had some and didn’t have much of a choice about doing it now.

       The idiot that had driven the van had left the key’s in it, so once he got in he got the van started, and didn’t waste a moment getting the hell out of dodge. It was just him and Troy now. He wouldn’t be looking for the others not if it meant Madison trying to get him back under her thumb, or trying to kill Troy again. As he left the crumbling dam behind, he wished his sister and Victor well, and his mother to an early grave. But he knew that wish was just a foolish fancy, Madison would outlive them all, as he had said before.

* * *

 

       Days. He’d been driving, looking for some sign of human habitation that didn’t greet him with a gun for that long, stopping to give Troy water, and broth, coaxing the injured man to drink, caring for the wound the best he could and to curl up on the floor next to the other man for restless sleep. Troy hadn’t woken up completely, but he had moaned, tried to shy away from Nick’s hands and called out for Nick a couple times. He was holding on, fighting to stay, so Nick would keep fighting to keep him alive, plain and simple. It was exhausting but he wasn’t going to give up.

       He was resting, when a groan from Troy had him awake in a second. He listened, praying that the older man hadn’t died in his sleep and turned, as he did every other time Troy making a sound woke him. He payed that this time Troy was awake and that he wouldn't have to finish the job that Madison had failed to do. Troy moved suddenly, struggling with the belts that were holding him down.

      “What the fuck?” Came the slurred demand soon after, calming Nick’s pounding heart. Troy was awake. “Nick?” Troy called, sounding panicked and confused by how he had found himself secured, and the younger man sat up, knowing that he needed to calm Troy down before he hurt himself trying to get out of the restraints that were holding him still.

       “Hey. I’m right here. I got you out, thought you were dead, that she killed you until I was almost to this van, but I wasn’t going to leave you there.” He soothed, reaching and touching Troy’s face as he looked at him. Relief shone in the other man’s confused and slightly unfocused eyes.

       “You’re okay. I saw you fighting to get to me. Thought you’d be next because she’d snapped.” Troy murmured, his voice sounding dry and weak. Nick grabbed a water bottle, and popped a straw into it, before guiding the straw to Troys lips. Blue eyes focused on Brown as the other man took a couple slow sips. Nick was thankful he didn’t have to tell the other man drinking too fast would be a bad thing- the other man’s survival training would have taught him that.

      “I couldn’t stop her. I did fight and I couldn’t get loose in time to keep her from hitting you again. She tried explaining it. Tried saying that you would have killed me. I called her on her lies and told her I was taking your body out of there. That I wouldn’t let the dam become your watery grave. And she didn’t try to stop me, but she’ll probably be looking if she made it out. She always looks because she thinks she can spin things so it’s not her fault, and it worked before… but not now. I won’t give her the chance to try and kill you again.” The younger murmured into the silence. Troy sighed, letting the straw slip from between his lips as he looked over Nick’s face.

         “Wasn’t your fault. You didn’t want to see her again. I convinced you to go. Its on me.” He disagreed, his eyes starting to unfocus as his brief time awake came to an end. “Love you too much for you to blame yourself, so stop.” blue eyes closed as Nick stared at the older man in shock. He knew Troy had said that Nick had stayed at the Ranch because he loved him, but he hadn’t given that too much thought. After a moment he snickered. His love life since this began had been one comedy after another. He’d gotten real close to Strand, before he found out that Victor was married. Then Luciana had come along, and he was sure she was it… Then she left, but Troy had already been burrowing past the hate that the outpost had installed in Nick, even then. Nick didn’t know when hate had turned to friendship, that had turned into something more… but after thinking he had watched Troy being murdered, he couldn’t deny it. Somehow he was in love with the blue eyed sociopath.

      “I love you too.” He murmured, leaning forward and kissing Troy’s head. After a moment he got into the front. Troy had woken up. If he found a Doctor to look him over then great, but until then… he was going to take Troy home still. They had left the ranch to the walkers, and everything it contained. Those supplies… they were more valuable then anything else, and he knew how to walk among the undead.. how to clear them out so the place was once again Troy’s. They could rebuild there, and Madison wasn’t likely to come back. She never liked to revisit the things she helped destroy anyways. One day… maybe they could even bring survivors in again.

* * *

 

       Victor looked at the woman who he had found on the riverbank with critical eyes. He knew she was unstable, now more then ever and that made her more dangerous then he would ever admit. She wanted to find Nick, was convinced that her son would forgive her. He wasn’t too sure of that. He’d held Nick back, not wanting the young man to become his mother’s focus as she used the hammer on his friend. It wasn’t until Nick scramble down next to the murdered man that he understood. He knew that look. He’d worn that look when the bite finally took Thomas. And Madison’s weak excuses for her actions meant nothing. She had to have seen this developing, but she hadn’t hesitated in doing what she had done.

         As Nick had carried his burden from the room, Victor had stilled Madison when she went to follow him, wanting to give him a chance to get his Thomas out of there, and get lost wherever he could. He knew that this was the last time Madison would see her son in a friendly way. If she ever crossed paths with him again, Victor expected that the younger man would take his revenge. His heart ached for Nick, in a way that it shouldn’t. He had fallen into old rolls when they had met, and successfully seduced the younger man, before remembering his end goal. To get to Thomas. And Nick hadn’t taken the fact that his elder lover had a husband waiting for him well. 

        “Did you know?” He finally asked, breaking into her planning. She looked at him, seemingly confused by his question. He didn’t believe it for a second though. This was the mother of an addict, not noticing something was amiss with Nick wouldn’t have happened on her watch. She had warned him from Nick at one point after all, so he knew she had known. And Still she killed Nick’s Thomas.

        “Know what?” She asked, sounding innocent. He snorted. She wanted to play it this way?

        “That Nick was in love with the man that you murdered in front of him.” He said bluntly, not in the mood to sugar coat things, or pretend that he wasn’t aware of what had happened himself. She glared at him, shaking her head, denying the fact he had presented.

        “Nick got close to Troy to manipulate him. That’s all. He couldn’t have fallen in love with that murderer.” Madison assured him, her tone all knowing and 100% in denial. He rolled his eyes.

       “Madison, I was there when you were driving that hammer into that man’s head. I saw his face. That was the face I wore when I realized that Thomas was bit… when he died. That boy of yours loved the man you killed, and he won’t be forgiving you for that any time soon.” He shot back. Before Madison could reply there was a sniffle. A red eyed Alicia joined them in the living room.

        “If Nick didn’t Love Troy, he wouldn’t have joined him in that stand off to get him to surrender. You knew it then mom, that's why you let them put him in a Tin box as his punishment- to keep him at the Ranch while you were off playing hero. He would have taken exile with Troy… and Troy would have had someone to temper his urges. You call him a murderer… but you’re no better. At least what he did gave some sort of knowledge back to the world. I could watch you bleed out and sit with you for 73 minutes before you turned, and I know that thanks to Troy.” She whispered, sounding broken. “I won’t run after Nick with you again. I don’t think you should find him… not after what you did.” She added, a note of finality in her voice. Madison glared at both of them.

       “We will look for him! We can’t just leave him out there on his own. He has no one, and survivors are dropping like flies everyday. Our family needs to be together, we’re stronger that way. We’ve lost too much” She demanded hotly. Alicia snorted, and it was then that Victor noticed the bag she carried. She wasn’t going to be staying with her mother anymore then Nick would be.

        “No. I won’t be. I told you before the dam, before I was captured and made to work for the Proctor. I’m done with you too. I need to find myself, my place in this world, and you turn wherever you land to dust. Victor’s home… the Ranch you decided we were going to take over the moment we got there… I’m done seeing people die because you want to be in control.” the teenager said firmly. Victor looked in between the two woman as the girl moved to go. Madison looked to be in shock, and in between the two, he favored surviving with the girl. She was less likely to get him killed, if her mother’s track record ran true. And maybe… Maybe they would run into Nick together, the part of him that had fallen for the boy he'd been locked in a cage with needed to see him safe.

      “Alright Sweetheart. Let’s get you out of here before anything unsavory happens. I think you both need to calm down before anything else is said or done. Madison, I won’t let anything happen to her. We’ll find you when tempers have cooled.” He jumped in, wanting to try to divert Madison from following her daughter, and a chance to get away himself. The woman had a way with people, twisting them into seeing things her way, comforting her when she had no right to be. She would have made one hell of a con woman in the world before the dead rose. He was almost disappointed he hadn’t met and recruited her then. Almost. She was the type that burned things to the ground, and that wouldn’t have been a good thing for him and Thomas. Madison’s lips pursed, but she nodded shortly, trusting him to bring her daughter back to her for some ungodly reason.

      He wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth though, so he ushered the girl out of the home they had been hiding in and got into his gifted car. It wasn’t until the house had disappeared into the darkness behind them that Alicia spoke again, she had gotten into the car in silence and he half thought she would spend the rest of the night that way. He hadn’t been going to press her to speak, given the fact that she has essentially severed ties with her mother.

       “When she found out I was with Jake I saw something in her eyes.; It wasn’t happiness. And then she ‘reminded’ me the Rhythm method was a load of bull. That look… I lied. Said there was birth control in the pantry, but preventing pregnancies wasn’t the first priority of a community looking to rebuild after the end of the world. She told me pregnancy was the last thing we needed basically. I lost Jake, and even though I was angry at Troy for what he did. I understood why letting those people onto his families land was unbearable enough to clear it with walkers. Everything that was being fought over, claimed by people who thought because their ancestors had it once it was theirs.. his family had built. He had built. Jake told me about what crappy parents they had. About how they’d lock Troy away because he’d cried, because he had shown interest in a boy at school and got jumped by homophobic assholes and when he defended himself and hurt those other kids… how it was all blamed on Troy and he was sequestered to the Ranch. I understand why and Jake would have too, but he was so on edge, and he was sick.. It wasn’t Troy’s fault he died. Not really.” She murmured, still looking out the window. Victor let her talk, and learned what he could of what had happened to the Clarkes while he wasn’t with them. The man that Nick had fallen for reminded Victor of himself, in the way that he would rather see his work burned then claimed by someone else.

      “And now Nick has lost Troy. Mom was sure the friendship was only to manipulate Troy, just like she assumed my relationship with Jake was a way to manipulate him, but I could see. She never accepted the fact that Nick was Bi. Never accepted that he would be into his own sex even if that’s not a huge deal with everything that's happened in recent years. I keep coming back to the fact that those two broken boys found each other at the end of the world and she took that away from Nick because she couldn’t handle change, losing control. And she killed him in front of Nick, and expects that everything thing will be fine and dandy. That nothing will change and Nick will come back. And I know he won’t. Just like I know I can’t be around her anymore, because if she found out that Jake got me pregnant I can’t see her taking it well. And then i'd have to worry for the rest of my pregnancy and life that she would try something to end this little life inside of me.” She finished, the last declaration a mere whisper. Victor clenched the steering wheel as he realized just what had caused Madison’s last child to forsake her. Fear for an unborn child. And she was right to fear. Victor could see Madison doing something to end the child’s life. He reached a hand over and found one of her hands, before looking at her and squeezing. She looked at him, seemingly afraid of his reaction to her words.

       “You and that baby are going to be just fine Alicia. We’ll find a safe place, and if you're mother ever finds us I’ll take care of her.” He promised, before his lips quirked. “Do you have any particular destination in mind?” he asked. She looked out the window again, before sighing, not letting go of his hand. There was a few moments of silence before she nodded.

        “The Ranch. At least a stop there. We didn’t take any of the supplies they had, and if nothing else it gives us things to trade as we move on to safer area’s.” She suggested. “And I want to get some pictures of Jake.. So the baby knows what their daddy looked like.” She added, admitting the desire with an almost ashamed tone coloring her voice. He squeezed her hand.

       “Alright. The ranch it is. You’re going to have to direct me there though. Madison said it was overrun, so I’m assuming we’ll have to clear a number of undead.” He replied, not questioning her desires. Madison would have since the place was over run and therefore useless in her eyes, and he knew he couldn’t resemble Alicia’s mother in any way. Not when the girl was terrified of her. Alicia sighed, nodding as she watched the landscape pass.

    “Hopefully the herd has moved on, but the air supply in the pantry was cut off. The survivors I lead there passed out because of it… some of them died and turned before going after the ones passed out. That will be the more… populated area.” She murmured, confirming his assumption before shrugging, her hand still holding onto his. “Who knows.. Maybe Nick will be there. You said he was taking Troy home, and the Ranch was Troy’s only home.” She added. Victor tried not to perk up at that. While he had no problem protecting Alicia because she had helped him get away from Madison without too much fuss the chance to see Nick again was pleasant. Though he was sure the younger man wouldn’t be as happy to see him. He had held Nick back as Troy was killed after all.

       “One can hope.” He said to himself, though he was sure the girl heard him. For a while the only thing spoken was directions, though his hand stayed firmly captive until he needed it.

* * *

 

          Nick sighed as he wiped sweat from his face, before taking a sip of water and looking over his work. The fire was burning steadily, eagerly awaiting more bodies and he knew he would be at it for a while yet. The majority of the herd that Troy had lead to the Ranch had moved on without living people to eat, so clearing the main portion of the Ranch hadn’t been very hard. Keeping Troy down and resting had been worse. The older man hadn’t wanted to stay down and recover, but Nick hadn’t given him a choice. He hadn’t undone the buckles securing Troy in the van so he was a little stuck for that portion. Troy hadn’t been too amused but Nick hadn’t cared. He’d almost lost him to Madison, he wasn’t going to let a walker finish him in. They were here to reclaim the Ranch, not die.

         After he was sure the ones wandering about were taken care of he had moved Troy to the house. The older man had grumbled and complained about being babied, but had quieted when Nick pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. As Troy stared at him in awe, Nick grinned sadly- looking at the bandaged wound that his mother had created, before back into blue eyes.

      “I almost lost you. Let me make our home safe. Let me keep you safe. You’ll be up and killing walker’s in no time but I have to secure our home before that happens.” Nick pleaded. Troy nodded after a moment, before leaning forward and kissing Nick again, mimicking the chaste press of lips.

       “Okay. But don’t get yourself bit. I don’t want to lose you.” Troy had murmured, his eyes earnest and voice pleading for Nick to keep himself safe. When he had appeared on the porch with a rifle as Nick headed to the Pantry to clear it, the younger man had let him. If Troy wanted to have his back by picking off any walker that may stumble up while he was clearing the bunker that held his supplies, then he was fine with that. Sweeping the bunker had been… Interesting and time consuming.

       He had covered himself in walker gore to give himself that extra protection, but the bunker was large. And there were places that were not easily seen so it had taken a while. Then he had to drag the bodies out to dispose of them. It wasn’t easy on the best of days. He was sore and tired, but there was still more work to do, so resting wasn’t an option for a while. Or so he thought before he heard a whimper, and shushing. He stopped mid lift, listening closely. That sounded living. But everyone had died in here but Alicia… right? There was another whimper- it was above him somewhere.

         “Be quiet please. Those things will hear us. I’ll go and try and grab some rations in a little bit.” A young voice pleaded. He dropped the body and someone yelped.

         “Hello?” Nick called, knowing he had to speak to prove that he wasn’t a walker before they would come out. He knew he must look like one, covered in dried blood. “Who is up there?” he tried again, because if any of Troy’s people has survived… that would be amazing. He heard a shuffling noise and looked up to see one of the ranch’s children looking out of a duct. He felt his heart skip a beat, as relief crossed the child’s face as he recognized him.

          “Nick? Hey guys, Nick’s here. He’s all gross looking but he’s killed the infected.” The boy called behind him. Nick watched as the child crawled from the duct and onto the top shelf of one of the pantry stacks. From behind him six other children followed. The boy’s sister included.

           “When everyone started getting sleepy Mom and some of the other parents put us up here.” The boy explained as Nick reached up to start helping them down. Nick cursed his mother in his head. Once she had Alicia they had left the Ranch, not really checking for survivors.

           “Smart move.” He acknowledged, reaching up for the next small person. Once all seven were down he looked them over. They were looking a little pale, but he had a feeling the more bolder ones had ventured out for some food and water that were stored on the shelf outside their duct. Well more then a feeling, considering what he had heard. “Let's get you inside. I’m not here alone, but it’s only Troy with me.” He murmured, plans springing to life. There were now seven survivors from the Ranch’s fall, not including those who had fled or Nick and Troy. They had people here to support, and Troy would be even harder to keep down now since the children couldn’t do patrols and the like on their own, and keeping control of the Ranch was the only way to make sure everyone was safe. Surprise flickered over the boy who had come out first’s face.

        “Troy’s back?!” He yelped. Nick looked at him, worried that this would be a problem with the children, considering Troy had been banished after running around and starting a gun fight, but the boy didn’t look scared, just surprised. He nodded and the child, Eric if he remembered right grinned.

        “Cool! I was scared those new people would make me go away if I made them upset!” He cheered, bouncing in his spot. Nick smiled at him relieved. He didn’t know what he would have done if the children were scared of Troy, but that didn’t seem to be an issue so he wouldn’t worry about it.

        “Troy got injured while he was outside the Ranch, so I think I’m going to need some help to make sure he recovers. It wasn’t a bite- a human took a hammer to his head. So when we get to the house I’m going to need all of you to be helper’s and make sure he rests.” He informed them, coming up with a plan to keep them occupied, and Troy down for a little bit. Eric’s eyes were wide.

        “He got hit in a head with a hammer?” He asked, sounding scandalized. Nick nodded, holding back a smile at his reaction. Troy was someone these kid’s had known a while, someone they knew protected them. And Troy being injured was something for these kids to concentrate on while he got everything in order. With both the kids and Troy occupied he would be able to work without worry that something would happen to any of them because they had wandered off. Plain and simple.

       “Twice. I thought he was dead for a little bit.” He confided. Hoping that the extra seriousness would make the kid’s extra ‘helpful’ towards the older man. As they started out of the pantry he noticed the smaller two children stumbling. Picking them up he lead the group out. He noticed Troy standing up almost immediately as the small group stayed close. When he got to the house, Troy was staring at him in shock. He smiled lopsidedly, trying to stay calm himself because if he thought of how long those kids had been up there hiding he was just going to feel guilty and angry.

         “What?” Troy whispered. “Where?” Nick grunted as he set down the two 5 year olds.

         “They were hiding in the pantry ducts. Their parents put them on the shelving when people started getting drowsy..” He explained. Troy knelt down, looking at the seven children.

         “Hey. I’m so happy to see you guys are okay, and so sorry we didn’t find you sooner.” He apologized, and it sounded sincere, like he was on the verge of tears. The emotional reaction was different from his pre headwound persona so Nick made note of it. Though it wasn’t like they had a Doctor he could consult. As long as Troy was alive he was happy though. Eric snorted, reaching for the bandage covering the side of Troy's head then stopping himself and looking a bit angry.

          “Nick said you got hurt bad and you’re recovering. I got food and drinks for the others and we had a lot of it. So don’t feel bad. You guys found us and everything’s better now.” The preteen said plainly. “Nick also said you need to rest to recover. So do that. We need both of you since.. our parent’s didn’t make it and we’re like bite sized snacks for the infected.” He added seriously. Troy glared slightly at Nick, not liking that he was using the kids to keep him down.

         “I will. But I think we need to keep an eye on Nick while he’s fixing up this place to. I haven’t seen him sleep much since we got here, and if he runs himself into the ground then we are all in trouble.” The older man retaliated. Nick rolled his eyes at the turn around, it seemed that his secret weapon to keep Troy down could be used on him as well. He should have known that the older man wouldn't hesitate to do so though.

        “I’m taking my break now, I promise.” He shot back, with a easy grin as the gaggle of children looked at him. Troy rolled his eyes, but the kids looked satisfied.

         “I’m hungry.” the girl he had carried in complained suddenly, and that was that. The two adults herded the children inside for a meal. Any work that was to be done would have to wait, and Nick found that he was okay with that. He had Troy and now the children to take care of now, and if any infected came up while they were eating, he would just take care of them after he was done.


	2. New Arrivals and Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: An update for my lovelies. We'll see a little bit of angst mixed in with this chapter, but I think it's more of a natural reaction to events then too much of an ooc moment

         Alicia perked up noticeable the closer they got to the Ranch. She watched the passing scenery with a sharp eye looking for something within the passing brush. Her brother perhaps? She didn’t say anything more then the directions that he needed though, and he didn’t ask, not sure he wanted to know. Soon they pulled up to gates, which were closed and padlocked shut. Alicia Stiffened as he came to a stop, and he looked at her in concern not sure if they should try to gain entrance to the Ranch if it had been claimed by someone else already. Those supplies she had mentioned would be motive enough for anyone to clear the infected, he had half expected this to be honest. Just because Madison had deemed the contents a loss, didn’t mean any nearby survivors would.

       “Those were not closed when we left. Mom… she didn’t take the time to do it because we weren’t coming back and she wanted to get to Nick and Troy.” The teen stated, sounding apprehensive as her hands clenched themselves in her lap. Victor didn’t blame her. Someone had come to the Ranch and that could be a bad thing for them if that someone wasn’t friendly and she tried to get at least the pictures that she wanted for her child. And she still wanted to get in there- he could tell by just how she looked. She was trying to calculate their next move, to convince herself this was worth the risk of going into an unknown situation.

        “Maybe it was Nick.” He suggested, hoping he was right and there wasn’t someone more sinister waiting for them on the other side of the gates. Two people against unknowns was not a good thing. She bit her lip, worrying a piece of dead and flaking skin with her teeth as she considered his words. A small figure stepped out from by the gate, his hand on a knife handle and he glared at the car. Well that was a surprise. Who in the hell would let a child, who couldn’t be older then 13-14 guard an entrance? Alicia inhaled sharply as she looked the child over like he was a hallucination.

        “That’s one of the Ranch’s children. I thought they all died in the pantry.” Alicia whispered, sounding horrified, and Victor didn’t blame her, if the child was alive, who else had Madison abandoned and how had he survived? The boy spoke into a radio, keeping one hand on a knife. Before Victor could stop her, Alicia was climbing out of the car, making her way to the boy.

        “Eric?” She asked softly. The kid’s eyes widened as he looked at her.

        “Alicia!” He yelped, before diving back behind the post, hiding from her. Victor watched as she bit her lip again. He didn’t get out of the car since he was a stranger though. Whatever was happening didn’t need his interference, a stranger wouldn’t ease the kid’s mind given what Alicia had said about the Native Americans who had all but taken over the property before it was over run.

        “Eric Wait!” Alicia protested after a moment. She was greeted with silence, the child remaining quiet as he stayed behind the cover the post provided. A RTV sped their way from down the long drive, and Victor’s hand found his gun until he recognized who was driving it. Nick, he let go of the gun and watched as the teen he had driven here came to the same realization, her hand going to her mouth as the 4 wheeler came to a stop. Nick climbed off it, giving his sister a hard look as he did, suspicion clear in eyes. He wasn’t happy to see Alicia, that much was clear.

        “Is Madison with you, or anywhere nearby?” Nick demanded, looking at the car suspiciously. Alicia shook her head, tears falling from her eyes as she took in her brother’s form and his demeanor. Nick sighed, sounding relieved and tired. “Okay, then what are you doing here? I’ve got my hand’s full, seven kids were in the pantry hiding in the ducts and I’ve got to make sure this place is secure so I’m not worrying they’re going to get bit playing in the yard..” He grumbled, sounding like a grumpy parent. Victor’s lips twitched at the thought, and mentally he thanked whoever had let the children survive. After what Nick had been through concentrating on keeping them safe was what he needed.

         “Oh god. I didn’t know that anyone made it. Mom got us out of there and I just assumed...” Alicia whispered horrified and guilty sounding. Then she gathered herself and stared her brother down. “Victor and I came here… for supplies and personal affects. We didn’t think anyone would be here… or if you were that you’d be alone. I… I told Mom I couldn’t travel with her again. I heard what she did to Troy. I’m so sorry Nick. I know he meant a lot to you, and what she did was just cruel.” She added softly, grief clear in her voice. Nick snorted, looking over Alicia critically.

       “How do I know this isn’t just some trap of Madison’s to find out where I’m at and try to get me back?” He asked still not convinced that Madison wasn’t hiding somewhere, ready to twist his mind and get him back to the dutiful son she had saw to his grave with two swings of a hammer over a week before. Victor had half a mind to defend the girl he’d escorted here, but she snorted, before her hand settled on her stomach. She had this, and Nick had every right to be suspicious of their sudden arrival. His mother was one piece of work and he had children to protect. Children that Madison would be a danger to if she were to ever set foot back of this Ranch.

        “Nick… With what she did to Troy, knowing how you feel… I can’t trust that she won’t try to get rid of the child I have growing in me. I’m never going back to her.” Nick’s brown eyes softened as he understood her word, no longer looking like he was waiting for them to jump him and drag him back to Madison. Instead understanding burned in his eyes and he shook his head.

        “Shit.” He muttered, before moving to open the gate. “You’re always welcomed here Alicia.” He promised. “If you and Vic there just want to stock up and leave I’m sure we can come to an agreement though. The hooligan’s under my care may be a pain though, just so you know. And… Madison didn’t manage to kill Troy. I felt him breathing before I got him to the van we left in, and he woke up a couple days later. He’s wrangling the younger ones of our brood right now. Considering I’m pretty sure Madison cracked his skull, he’d on the light work. I’m mending fences, and have cleared and burned the infected on the grounds.” Alicia chocked, looking like she was going to faint.

         “He’s alive?!” she squawked, sounding about as surprised as Victor was. He had seen the force that Madison had driven that hammer into the young man’s head. And she hadn’t just done it once, but twice. The younger man was lucky as hell that he was alive, let alone aware enough to be responsible for children was a miracle. Nick nodded, a silly grin passing over his face for a moment.

        “He’s too much of a stubborn asshole to die on me. The kid’s are help keeping him down to be honest, or he’d be out helping me already. Once I had the main part of the Ranch cleared, and before I found the kid’s in the pantry he’d been on the porch with a shotgun to take care of any wanders, so I  won’t lie to myself and say I would have been able to keep him home bound without the rugrats.” He replied, sounding fond and.. happy. Victor once again thanked whoever was listening. This time for not taking Nick’s Thomas. For giving the two boys a chance. Alicia drew in a shaky breath.

       “Thank God.” She whispered, before swaying slightly. Nick reached her, and wrapped her in a hug before it got to be anything more then that, and then looked at Victor for the first time.

       “When was the last time she ate or drank?” He asked, and it was as if Victor hadn’t held him back from saving Troy. The older man raised an eyebrow at the question, and the implication that he trusted him enough to give an accurate assessment of his sister’s condition. He had assumed that he was going to be facing some anger for holding the younger man back while his mother assaulted Troy. So far he wasn't seeing that reaction, but he wasn't going to assume it wouldn't happen sooner or later.

         “We’re running on limited supplies, but I’ve been trying to keep her going. She’s got the morning sickness stage of pregnancy pretty bad though, so things haven’t stayed down too long. Its been a while since out last rest stop as well.” He replied, then watched as Nick directed his sister to the RTV.

       “Follow behind me to the house after you and Eric secure the gate. Bring him along, he wasn’t supposed to be out here, but he’s being stubborn about helping out.” Nick called over his shoulder. Victor signed as he drove through the gates, before putting his car back in park and getting out. The kid was looking at Nick rebelliously as the younger man got his sister onto the RTV.

        “Someone needs to look after the gate. Troy said so. I called you on the radio when I saw them, so why can’t I stay here?!” The kid’s Eric protested. Nick sighed, looking at they boy before rubbing the bridge of his nose hard. Victor could see he was getting annoyed with the kid.

       “Because I said so, and it’s lunch time. So unless you want to be hungry until dinner don’t give Victor any trouble. I’ve got to get Alicia up to the house and laying down. All this excitement can’t be good for her when she’s carrying a baby.” the younger man scolded the child. Eric look horrified.

        “You would make me wait till dinner to eat if I stayed?!” He yelped. Nick rolled his eyes and nodded, looking at the kid like he should know the answer already.

        “If you’re not going to listen to me, why should I let you stroll in whenever and eat?” He shot back, before climbing onto the RTV behind his sister. He nodded at Victor, who was trying his best not to smirk at the interaction he’d just seen, before heading back up the long drive. Victor looked at the kid, who didn’t seem happy with what had just happened. Eric kicked at the ground.

       “I was just trying to help. Nick gets up before all of us and goes to bed after because he’s working so hard getting the Ranch safe again. And he doesn’t have help because he and Troy are the only adults here and Troy is hurt.” he muttered sullenly. Victor clapped a hand on his back, making the kid jump and look at him. He winked playfully, drawing a small smile from the boy.

      “Nick’s sister and I are here to help now so it’s not all on him anymore. Given Alicia’s pregnant I don’t see us leaving.” He informed the boy, who looked relieved, but still has a stubborn tilt to his head. He looked towards the dust cloud that marked where Nick had driven off.

        “You guys will still need help.” He grumbled, before going to tug the gates closed. Victor helped him, before they chained the gate closed. The preteen jumped into the passenger seat without a word after, and Victor smirked a little, shaking his head. Nick would have his hands full keeping that child in line, if he didn’t want the kid helping that is. He got into the drivers side, and started making his way up the drive. While they had found more then was expected here at the Ranch he couldn’t be upset that Nick’s Thomas had survived. He wanted nothing but the best for the younger man.

* * *

 

       Troy had positioned himself on the porch as soon as Nick had gotten the call from Eric. There were people at the gates. He’d never cursed Madison more then the moment he had to watch Nick drive off, knowing he was more a liability then a help. The children were all safe together in a room far away from the front of the house. In another time he might have sent them to the pantry… but that place held far more unpleasant memories then promise of safety now. He waited, the radio Nick had left behind next to him, and prayed that whoever had come knocking at their gates wasn’t hostile. That Nick hadn’t just driven off into a trap, and that someone would just give him a damn update.

        The radio stayed silent though, making Troy’s worry mount with every minute that had passed. The children meant that he couldn’t just go and see what was happening himself. Someone had to stay for them, had to protect them if something has gone wrong. As much as he hated the thought of  bringing strangers back onto his land, they needed more people here. People they could trust, so this wouldn’t happen again. So he could be out there with Nick, and know that he had back up. He didn’t think Nick would handle this any better then he was himself at the moment either. They had been through too much to keep calm while the other was in an unknown situation.

       He spotted the ATV coming back after about 30 minutes after Nick had left, but he didn’t relax, even when he was able to make Out Nick’s form on it. Because he wasn’t alone, and his passenger could mean trouble. Madison Clarke wasn’t the type of woman that took losing one of her children well, let alone both of them, he had seen that at the boarder and when the copter carrying her husband and daughter had been shot down. The passion to keep her family together, to survive and prosper had once drawn Troy to her like a moth to a flame, but now- seeing Alicia on the 4 wheeler with Nick? It scared him to death in a way that he couldn’t fully explained. Alicia was an omen that this happiness, this chance at reclaiming his home and prospering here with Nick… it wasn’t going to last. They were going to see more death and destruction and he couldn't shake the thought that he was going to lose the things most important to him.

        Madison had asked him to keep looking after Nick with one breath, and tried her best to kill him with the next. The once warm, caring… sometimes motherly and sometimes seductive woman had shown her true face and Troy would never be able to forget it anymore then he would be able to forget being locked in the basement for days by his own mother. He would remember, and not make the same mistake of letting that woman in again With Nick here, the risk she would come back eventually was always there, because she would never give up control of her son. but with Alicia joining them it was only a matter of time, if she wasn’t already coming behind the two in that sports car. He didn’t think Nick would lead Madison back here, but the wound on the Side of Troy’s face had taught him to be cautious if nothing else. As the ATV pulled up, Troy tried to find it in himself to put the rifle down and greet them, but until he knew Madison wasn’t here… He couldn’t.

        If he let his guard down and she was in that car, ready to spill her poison laced honeyed lies, then Troy had to be ready to act even if that action would end the life of Nick’s remaining parent. He had to protect himself and Nick because he knew that luck wouldn’t be on their side a second time, if she managed to ease her way back into their good graces and got the chance to finish what she had started at the Dam. Nick raised an eyebrow at him as he helped his sister off the ATV, treating her like she was made of glass. He could see Alicia roll her eyes at the older boy’s behavior.

        “I’m pregnant for god sake Nick. Not Sick, injured or dying. I can manage getting off an ATV without an issue.” The blonde teen snarked in her brother’s direction and Troy almost stopped breathing. Alicia was pregnant, his brother’s girlfriend was pregnant and Jake was dead because of him. Alicia should want to be anywhere but where he was because of that, but she didn’t look like she was angry and she had to have seen him. The Rifle was set down as a numb feeling descended over Troy. His brother was dead, and would never know he was going to be a father. That he had proved Dad right and was the one son that would carry on the Otto name. And neither would be here to see it happen. Both were dead. The world felt like it was narrowing on Troy, and it was suffocating.

         “Humor me ‘Licia. Victor says the morning sickness is hitting you hard, and if you’re dehydrated from it your balance could be off. I’ve been dehydrated a time or two, so believe me here.” Nick scolded the girl. Troy eased himself into a seat, unable to stop watching to two, listening to their banter as he replayed Jake’s death in his head. Why hadn’t his brother just gotten Alicia to safety and let him clear their lands of the intruders? Why had he fought him? Footsteps were ignored, until Troy felt a hand on the uninjured side of his face. His eyes focused on the owner of the hand. Alicia was looking at him, concern in her eyes. Concern he didn’t deserve when he was the reason Jake was gone. Why she would waste anything on Troy when he had taken the father of her child away he couldn’t know. Nick was next to her, looking just as worried, and Troy felt his stomach turn.

      “Are you okay Troy, you’re not looking to good? Is your head bothering you? Can we get you anything?” Alicia asked, sounding worried and alarmed at his state.. caring even, and the bile rose in his throat more. He was going to get sick. He gave a sharp shake of his head, trying to get her hand off his face. She shouldn’t touch him, not when he had done what he had. He only hurt people and he didn’t want her to be next so she should be far away from him. She had to get away. Nick sighed at his reaction, kneeling next to the chair Troy was in. He took his sister’s hand and moved it gently away.

        “He’s having a panic attack Alicia.” Nick explained to her, before settling down on the ground between Troy’s legs and leaning against him, his warmth grounding Troy. “Let’s give him a moment to calm down, the kid’s are probably in one of the back rooms if you want to check on them. I was an idiot and didn’t check in while I was responding to Eric’s alert so Troy probably has them hiding. It might be a good thing to get then calmed down so they don’t work themselves up.” He directed towards his sister, who nodded. Worry was still etched on her face, but she took his hint and left them in silence. Troy tried to reign in the chaos of self blame swirling in his mind, but it wasn’t easy. Not when he was going to be an uncle to a child that he had taken the father from. After a few moments Nick started rubbing his leg in a soothing manner, trying to calm him and get his attention.

       “I took away her babies father and she was still worried about me…” He croaked out suddenly, needing to say something. For Nick to understand why he couldn’t breath and the world was suffocating him. Nick snorted, his hand still moving up and down the leg he was rubbing.

        “If she had reacted in any other way then relief when I told her that Madison hadn’t managed to kill you, then I would have made her and Victor wait at the gate before coming back to talk to you about loading them up with supplies and sending them on their way. I promise. I know you regret what happened to Jake, but in the world we live in now, death is something that any one of us can face in a heartbeat by making one wrong move. It was an accident- he got bit and we tried to save him and failed. Don’t let the guilt you are feeling destroy you, please. Alicia’s baby won’t have it’s father, but we’re It's uncles. Since Jake can’t be here it’s our duty to be here in his place.” Nick murmured, his voice low and soothing but passionate. Troy blinked, air making it’s way to his lungs.

        Nick was right. Jake couldn’t be here, but they were. They had shelter and supplies to keep Alicia alive and safe while she carried that baby, and long after. They needed to keep her and her child safe for Jake. It was the only way Troy could ever make up getting his brother killed, by protecting his family now that he couldn’t. The Sports car pulled up and a door opened and closed quickly. He looked in it’s direction to see Eric making his way up the steps.

       “Nick said if I didn’t come back to the house I’d have to wait till dinner to eat.” The 13 year old complained to Troy, not taking notice of the positions he and Nick were in. The world got a bit less constricting as a snicker bubbled up unbidden as Nick just shrugged.

        “You were not supposed to be out there in the first place Eric.” Nick replied, clearly unrepented for the threat he had issued to their charge. Troy’s hand grasped at Nick’s shoulder and he shook his head in amusement. He couldn’t change the past, but he could make the future better. And that meant keeping everyone here safe and alive. He could do that, but only if he didn’t let what had just happen occur again. He couldn’t let the world suffocate him if he was going to protect his family.

        "Nick’s right. We may need to organize a guard for the gate, but you weren’t supposed to be out there today. I know you want to help, but I don’t feel comfortable having you out there without back up. If that hadn’t been Alicia you could have been in trouble, and it takes a while for us to get there.” Troy told the boy, reinforcing Nick’s decision. They couldn’t appear divided here after all, and he really didn’t like the Idea of the child out there on his own anymore then he likes the thought of Nick out there. The man driving the car hadn’t gotten out yet, and as Troy looked at him he realized it was the man who had held Nick back when Madison was hitting him with the hammer. He’d reserve judgments on in the man was a Spy for Madison until later, but he would be keeping an eye on him. Eric sighed, his disappointment that Troy hadn’t said he’d done a good job and could stay out clear.

         “You guys will need help out there, and we don’t have enough people for partners.” The kid grumbled, before heading inside. After a few moments Troy nudged Nick’s side with his knee.

        “So what’s the story behind your sister and that guy showing up?” He asked. It was Nick’s turn to sigh, and the younger man leaned back into him more, before bringing up a hand and rubbing his face. Troy waited for him to speak, feeling like he wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

       “They left her because of Alica’s pregnancy. Madison never believed that she was really into Jake, and with what she did to you, Alicia didn’t think she would react well to finding out that she was pregnant. She thought that Madison would do something to hurt the baby either before it was born or after. Alicia doesn’t want to see Madison anymore then we do at this point and I believe her.” Nick muttered under his breath, Troy’s grip tightened on the younger man’s shoulder. He already knew that Madison coming to the Ranch would end in her death, if just for Troy’s own peace of mind, but the thought of that woman hurting his unborn niece or nephew almost made him want to go out and find her so he could end the threat she represented. They wouldn’t truly be able to live until they were no longer looking over their shoulders, wondering when she was going to show up.

     “We won’t let that happen.” He promised, his voice taking on dark notes as he planned a murder that hopefully would happen soon. He didn’t like the thought of living in fear of a woman who had the power to destroy what he was rebuilding with Nick. Nick nodded, leaning more of his body weight against Troy. After a few moment Troy tapped his shoulder.

         “Is that guy ever going to get out of his car? Or is he planning on living in there?” He asked, trying to joke and lighten the heavy mood that had settled on them. Today had started out so well, with the two men laughing and joking with the children, before separating so Nick could work on the fences. Troy had thought Eric had joined him, or he would have gotten the boy back to the house himself. Nick shrugged, his head turning to look at the car in question.

       “Strand knows that Alicia is welcomed here. He’s probably not to sure on his own status, considering he held me back from saving you at the Dam. I didn’t address that. After ‘Licia told me she was pregnant and swayed I just wanted to get her to the house so she could eat and rest.” He hummed. Troy moved the hand from Nick’s shoulder and to his hair.

       “And what do you think about him? Is he safe to have around the children?” He questioned, running his hand gently through the tangled hair. Nick snorted, trying to bat the hand in his hair away.

       “Strand’s all about survival. He won’t chance getting himself killed if he makes a wrong move so I don’t think he’ll hurt anyone here. He probably left with Alicia because he could see what we can. That Madison would get him killed.” He hummed. “He’s the reason I got out of L.A. They had put me into quarantine when this all began because I was going through withdrawals pretty bad, and had interactions with the infected. I would have probably died there, if Strand hadn’t had a plan to get out and decided to bring me along.” He added, obviously losing himself in thought.

       “So you’ve known him for a while then?” Troy questioned. Nick nodded, and Troy sighed. He would still watch Strand, but the reason why Nick had let the other man onto the Ranch was a little clearer. The man had earned some goodwill from Nick, that hadn’t been canceled out by him holding him back at the Dam. And Strand had most likely only held him back because he had the same fear that Troy had- that Nick would have turned into his mother’s next target if he had interfered.

      “We probably should tell him to get into the house and get something to eat and drink.” Troy murmured, and Nick chuckled, giving up on keeping Troy’s hand out of his hair.

      “Probably. But it doesn’t hurt to let him sweat it out for a little bit.” He replied. There was a snort from the door and both men looked up to see Alicia watching them.

      “Honestly. You two are worse then the kid’s inside that are currently raiding the kitchen.” She scolded, her smile reaching her eyes and she headed down the stairs and went to get the other man from the car. Nick snickered, before closing his eyes, seeming content just to stay there. Troy wasn’t going to complain. With Alicia and Strand here they didn’t need to have the kid’s in eyesight at all times anymore, so he would take the chance just to be with Nick.

     As the two new adult’s passed them to go into the house Troy nodded in their direction, before looking out at the Ranch grounds, his hand now making patterns on Nick’s scalp. They were going to make it through this, and they would be stronger for it. The number of people here had grown again, and that wasn’t a bad thing. More people meant more help, more chances in surviving after all, and he would haven't wanted Alicia anywhere else with her in the state she was in. He owed it to Jake to keep her and that child safe, and he wouldn't let his brother down again.


End file.
